


The little things that linger

by tadok0ro



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Joe tries to cheer Nicky up, M/M, One Shot, Post-Movie, no beta we typo like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25473733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tadok0ro/pseuds/tadok0ro
Summary: Nicky is a kind soul, so kind he cannot forgive himself for even perceived slights. He takes Booker’s betrayal personally like he is to blame. Joe tries to prove otherwise.
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 7
Kudos: 351





	The little things that linger

**Author's Note:**

> *crawls out of my almost-two-year-long writing hiatus to slap this into the tag*

They all take Booker’s betrayal in different ways. 

Joe takes it the worst, wanting to flay the man alive for subjecting them to their worst nightmare, for making him so powerless that he could not help Nicky. The only solace was that they were in it together. (He thinks this must’ve been what Andy and Quhyn felt like in England, the comfort of togetherness like a warm blanket snatched away in one fell swoop, leaving Andy forever cold. There’s comfort in knowing that didn’t come to pass for him and Nicky, but just the possibility that it could have happened stokes the flame of his anger all the same.)

It’s hard to gauge how Andy takes it; it’s personal, of course, but she’s able to brush it off easier than Joe can. (Joe scoffs, claims that it’s because _she_ didn’t have to be held, chained up for days as pieces were sliced out of her, no anesthetic to ease the pain even as the drove tools into their very bones.) 

Nile barely knows them to understand the weight of the betrayal. No one faults her for it, she will learn in time.

Nicky takes it quietly, like most things. (A much, much younger Joe once mistook this as nothing affecting him, but he realized this mistake quickly.) He calms Joe’s anger with his steady voice, a balm on the stinging wound of betrayal, but there is a distance in his eyes that Joe does not like.

That look eats at Joe as they sit and debate Booker’s punishment. Nicky softly argues for a lighter sentence, not as light as what Nile suggests, but under the circumstances, it is a mercy, all the while having that distant look and avoiding Joe’s gaze. Maybe that’s why Joe agrees to the terms they come up with, even if it doesn’t satisfy him completely. 

“He will know the cage of loneliness,” Nicky says, reminding him that, in a way, it is a fair punishment. “He will find penance in his guilt.”

It’s not until that night when everyone settles in at the safe house that Joe brings anything up. It’s calm in the tiny little space they have, Nile and Andy sit in the other room watching TV, the faint sounds of their conversation over whatever program they’re watching filtering through to the kitchen where Joe and Nicky are. The tea kettle whines and Joe makes them both tea, a simple green tea that reminds Joe of the first time they tasted tea from a Chinese trader centuries ago. Nicky has his nose in one of his books, but how slowly he turns the pages tells Joe that he’s not really reading it.

“You have nothing to be guilty about,” Joe says as he places a glass of tea in front of Nicky. He grabs the nearest chair and drags it next to Nicky, taking his rightful place there. 

Nicky doesn’t even seem alarmed by the sudden words, just lowers the book to the table, closing it in smooth, deliberate motions. He looks at Joe and there is pain, deep and lingering in his eyes. Joe’s heart twists, he wants nothing more than to hold Nicky, to soothe the pain away.

“I have plenty to feel guilty about,” Nicky says finally. He looks down at his hands and swallows thickly. “I cannot help but feel like I am partly responsible for Booker’s betrayal.”

Joe’s already shaking his head. 

“No, no, no, no,” he places a hand over Nicky’s, “Booker made his choice on his own.” His thumb rubs small circles on Nicky’s hand.

“I could not see the depths of his pain,” Nicky’s brows furrow.

“We all have pain, but none of us have betrayed each other before.” The words don’t seem to reach Nicky.

“We only made it worse,” Nicky nearly whispers. “He was right, we cannot understand what it is like to be alone.”

He _was_ right to an extent. They couldn’t relate to any other immortal because they’d always, _always,_ had each other. They’d even shared their first death together, their first revival, their many following deaths…. They’d been so intrinsically bound together from the very beginning that they barely considered the years before their fateful meeting.

_“What are the chances of this?” Nicky- when he was still just Nicolo- had said once the ghost of a laugh on his lips, Arabic still a little shaky. They both lay on their backs in the sand, blood splattered around them after another whirlwind duel. It was the first time they’d spoke despite killing each other many times. When Yusuf offers a hand to help Nicolo up, there’s an exhausted smile on the other man’s face, something that strikes Yusuf as cleanly as a spear to his chest._

“Yeah, but Andy knows,” Joe squeezes Nicky’s hand. “More than any of us.” Nicky blinks and the haze in his eyes seems to fade if just a little. “And she’s _also_ never betrayed us.” 

Nicky nods as if finally understanding, but his eyes are still downcast. 

“Besides,” Joe’s voice is louder, the seriousness in his tone disappearing. “He can be jealous of us all he wants, for all I care.”

The corner of Nicky’s mouth turns up into a small grin. Joe smiles in return.

“What is it that you said about us, Nicky?” Joe prods like he hasn’t heard it a million times over the centuries, but he’ll never tire of it, no matter how many times it is said. Each time feels as good as the last. Or the first.

Nicky scoffs, but when he cocks his head towards Joe there’s nothing but warmth in his eyes, that easy softness that’s reserved only for Joe.

“That we were meant to find each other. Destiny.”

_“Out of all of the people, in all of the world,” Nicolo gasped out as if in awe. His hands are on Yusuf’s face, reveling in the feel of his smooth skin and coarse beard under his palm and fingertips. Yusuf’s hands are fisted in his hair, their foreheads touching. “It’s you.” They close the gap and kiss again. There’s fire under his skin and lightning in his fingertips and if the whole world were to converge on them now he would not care. Everything about them is wrong, but the puzzle piece slots into place as easily as Yusuf’s lips against his. It feels right and the world suddenly makes sense. “This must be destiny,” he’d whispered like a prayer as they pulled apart._

“Right, so he can take it up with Destiny!” Joe shoos the air like it will push away the memory of Booker and whatever guilt Nicky holds over that.

Nicky laughs, it’s small, but Joe will take it. It feels like a victory.

“Feeling better?” Joe asks. He leans forward, presses his forehead against Nicky’s.

“A little bit.”

“Good, your tea is getting cold.” 

Nicky gives him a glance that says ‘ _so is yours,’_ but doesn’t voice it. Joe doesn’t care. He’d stop the world if it meant cheering up Nicky.

**Author's Note:**

> I watched this movie yesterday and I've not been able to rest because my mind is so full of things I want to write for it.  
> Yell at me on Tumblr https://tadok0ro.tumblr.com/  
> or twitter https://twitter.com/Tadok0ro


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